Banning Tanning Beds
Tanning beds are a huge problem today. What are tanning beds? Tanning beds are machines you lie down in and they give you a tan using ultraviolet waves. We always dream of a world without cancer, yet the government still hasn't banned tanning beds. Why should tanning beds be banned?
Well as you just read, tanning beds cause cancer. Skin cancer to be exact. They cause cancer because they give off the ultraviolet rays. These rays are too strong for your skin. This leads me to my opinion on tanning beds.
Tanning beds are a huge cause of cancer. Just imagine what life would be like without them. yes there would still be cancer , but it would definately reduce some death rates.
To summarize this all up, tanning beds are evil and should all be destroyed. Doing this would make us many steps closer to getting rid of cancer.
Please expand upon your paragraphs - too short to meet our expectations.
ReplyDeleteLike Ms Lees said, Maybe you should include a bit of your own opinion? Do you know anyone who is fairly young and uses tanning beds? What do you think influences young minds to turn to "fake tanning"? Most people know about the risks of skin cancer and getting other infections, but why do you think teens and young adults continue to put their lives at risk?
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I think you presented the facts well. You concluded with saying "tanning beds should all be destroyed". Do you have any suggestions on how that should be done? Any ideas on how to reduce the use of tanning beds?
:)
Yusuf, first of all like Ms. Lees said, you need to expand your sentences and paragraphs since they are too short for our blogs. Also the sentences aren't long enough to be a paragraph. You also didn't have your sources at the end of this post but if there is a next time, you should have your sources some where in the sentences or at the end of this post. On this post you did worse than last time but I like your high lights on your post to make the key words stand out. You also should have researched more information about tanning beds but I hope you can do better next time.
ReplyDeleteYou should have spent more time and effort on this post Yusuf. You had until Thursday to post this, which means you had two more days which you could take your time and improve your post by quality and quantity. There are too less sentences in each paragraph and there are also some mistakes in your writing such as forgetting to capital the start of a sentence. You should also get rid of your conversational tone, which includes the word "well". I liked your strong language against tanning beds.
ReplyDelete